I feel kind of redundant coming back to you guys in this manner because I literally was just like, “Hey! I’m back! Here’s my brain! Read it!” Maybe this feeling is irrelevant, I don’t know. All I know is I’m trying to start something, or spread something. It could possibly be a brand in the future (maybe now?), but at the moment it’s more of a mindset, and in order to start and spread this mindset (brand?) successfully, you guys need to understand exactly what it is.
My very first post, “Untitled”, touched on this topic. I don’t think it was very direct for (like) 99% of the post. It was actually kind of sad. I think I only mention “yellow” once. In the last sentence I wrote, “I’m painting my walls yellow.”
That is the important thing! It’s the most important! It’s the whole point!
Let me stop yelling. Let me explain.
First: the color yellow in practice (specifically through sunshine) revealed its importance to me a little while back. Although I have not yet been diagnosed, I know for a fact that I struggle with anxiety. Add in a few depressive episodes here and there. But what’s new? In today’s world, this statement holds true for most people, give or take some intensity. It seems to be one of the devils favorite new weapons of mass destruction. It’s unfortunate, but because he is not the ultimate ruler, we (the sufferers) have been given good things, little and not so little, that shed light on these unfortunate lives we live. These good things vary depending on the sufferer, but mine specifically is nature, more specifically, sunlight. Whenever I’m feeling anxious, I don’t hesitate to make my way outside to find a patch of it to sit in. It warms my soul, reminds me to breathe. It’s my comfort.
Another thing! Sunflowers. I love sunflowers. A while ago I went to an art show with a very close friend of mine. I saw the most beautiful sunflower painting I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It was so beautiful that it left me standing in the middle of a river of art goers, crying, like a very sad woman.
In reality though, I was so happy.
So, I believe I can truthfully state that my spirit is drawn to yellow. Not just yellow in color, but yellow in essence. Yellow to me means bright, open. It means freedom. And freedom is very important to me, someone who is so often trapped within herself. That’s why I always try to sit next to windows, to remind myself that I’m never lacking a peep hole, a way out, and way for Good to reach in.
This leads me to my second point.
As humans living in a world that is so perverted by a being that does not want us to believe we are free, many of us are lead to put ourselves into little gray boxes, and the parts of ourselves that are weakest in standing against the adversary are deemed righteous enough to hold the key to this box, with no intention of letting us out. And for those of us who struggle mentally, who struggle to fight bad thoughts, who can’t seem to get a grip on any type of tangible happiness, we often don’t have the energy to fight for the key. We’re laughed at by the key holder, who says “what’s the point?” We get stuck in a windowless room, living in gray.
This is where the message shines through. Although the energy to take back the key may seem out of reach, the room itself is not, and the opportunity to change the room around is always there.
What I’m saying is, paint your walls yellow! Or purple or red or blue or green! Put up posters, pictures, stickers, lights! Do something with the space you’re given! The world you were brought into might not be ideal, but you were given a great gift: your will power. That is something that can never be taken from you, no matter how weak or far away it may seem. And if you look in the right places, you’ll find an abundance of resources to help you brighten up the small space you inhabit in this world of gray boxes.
You have the paint. Just pick up the brush.
This concept is part of what inspired me to create The Yellow Nook, just one of the spaces in my life that I’ve decided to rearrange. I’ve been writing for most of my life, but a part of me has always deemed my thoughts and expressions unworthy to be shared. So, I’ve kept this part of myself hidden for a very long time. Then, Love sent some sunshine my way in the form of people who wanted to read my thoughts, and who thought it was important for me to share them with others. They essentially reached inside my gray space and flicked a little light on, pointing me in the direction of the paint I’ve been given, softly nudging me into action. Look at me now, a once gray nook, slowly shifting towards the light, bathing myself in yellow, in freedom.
You guys are nooks too, full of colors today’s world has probably never seen before. I just want to remind you that your colors are worth it, and they’re important to the work of the Man who gave the rainbow a purpose.
This is my nudge to you. Do something with the space you’re given.
That’s my spiel for today. I hope I made sense.